Being pregnant brings on a lot of joys in a woman’s life. Baby kicks. Noticing your bump for the first time. Hearing your baby’s heart beat. The list goes on.
I was never one who liked to draw attention to myself or engage in small talk, but once you are pregnant you actually wear an invisible (to you) sign that says “Talk to me please and ask me anything”.
I obviously jest with that last statement, but with the amount of comments and questions from strangers that I got- I have wondered! In retrospect, it would have been easier to make a sign at my triage desk answering the questions I already knew people were going to ask.
You may have a different experience than me, but I want to share six things I was SO tired of hearing by the end of my pregnancy.
There are the obvious questions:
- Are you pregnant?!
- When are you due?
- What are you having?
These are harmless questions- I know. But when you are asked them a hundred times a day, every day, for the duration of your pregnancy- I promise you they get very old, very quickly. At times, when I was good humored but annoyed nonetheless I would have some fun with my replies. For example:
Question: Are you pregnant?
Reply: I hope so! Or I am just getting really fat.
Question: When are you due?
Reply: Due for what? (then watch the look of confusion on their face)
Question: What are you having?
Reply: A baby. I am having a baby.
How are you feeling?
I was and still am beyond guilty of asking my pregnant friends this question all the time despite how tired I got of hearing it myself. It has such good intent. Of course it’s nice for people to care about how you are feeling. But at the same time, when all you really want to do is vomit on their shoes or fall asleep talking to them- you will get sick of hearing this question on replay.
I think this question reached it breaking point with my tolerance when I was 9 months pregnant, working full time, and as uncomfortable as one would imagine.
How am I feeling you ask? Pregnant. I am feeling very, very pregnant. Now, please stop talking to me before I eat you.
Your belly is so small/round/high up/low down/ (fill in the blank)
I never realized how many people would care to comment on the size and shape of my pregnant belly. People would “predict” the gender of my baby based on this as well. Sure, sure- it’s fun to try to “guess” what you are having and I certainly googled all the old wives tales. But, holy cannoli… People can be really, well, judgey.
I remember one lady literally said, “Are you SURE you’re having a girl? Your belly is WAY too round.” Ma’am, I am only as sure as the ultrasound picture.
Is this your first?
Again, another seemingly harmless question, but it gets super old when your responses are on replay. It was my first baby, yes. But what I think people need to realize before they ask is- what if this wasn’t my first pregnancy? And what if I had suffered a loss numerous times before that? What would then become of that conversation? I think people should use their better judgement and not ask questions they may not want the answer to.
Are you going to breastfeed?
Another one for controversy. My OB can ask me this question, but not you random lady at the deli counter. I planned to breastfeed and was really excited to, but I still had a lot of uncertainty in not knowing how it would go. I had heard of many women who struggle to breastfeed, and therefore didn’t want to get my hopes up if I ran into troubles as well.
There is a lot of pressure new moms undergo in many different aspects. Feeling pressure about breastfeeding before we even had a chance to try, is one thing we don’t need. Not mention- it’s not your business– person I don’t even know.
You’re STILL pregnant?
Do you want to know the quickest way to get your eyeballs scratched out? Ask a 40+ week pregnant woman working full time this question. While I never actually scratched someone’s eyeballs out- I can’t say the thought never crossed my mind. People ask this question with humor, I know, but trust me- very little is humorous at this point in time.
All of us will experience something a little different during our pregnancies. Maybe some of you will be more tolerant to answering the constant and repetitive questions. Kudos to you!
But I just want you to know– if you are so tired of hearing and answering the same things over and over- you are not alone! And I promise this: I will look the other way if you do choose to scratch someone’s eyeballs out.
Share some of your experiences in the comments below! What were the most frustrating things people asked you during your pregnancy?